Self went through a tough childhood.
You wanted to tell it, it wasn’t strong enough on its own.
Self wanted to have close friends and companionship who left it.
You wanted to show it wasn’t for the people to hold on to.
Self went melancholic You wanted to tell it had no way out but You.
Self gathered itself up temporarily, a guidance from You.
Yet, it still went out to face the world, not You.
Self relied on attention and love of creation.
You left it alone and took away the contentment from it.
Self grew weak again, unhappy.
As You shed on it the light of Your guidance, guiding self on the quest of contentment.
Self grew arrogant, still competing for the temporary.
You left it alone, taking away the contentment from it.
As a mother who picks up a falling child, into her arms, where it belongs – safe. You, who wanted self away and her back, waited to be called out to.
Self submits And You come running to its aid Self cries. And You answer its calls. Self prays for itself to be locked away.
Behold, Be and it is!
Now there is nothing but her. Like a coconut shell.
The rugged and the course layer is off.
But the next shell is still hard as a rock.
Before you reach its sweet waters.
Inside her soul, she sees many layers.
Each one like a level unlocked to the beloved Soul cries, the world seems like a prison with the self locked away.
You guide it to remember You as You have always remembered soul.
Soul remembers You But You take away the contentment again, Oh Beloved! Soul suffers.
A longing for the lover. Soul grieves.
You guide it again. Soul falls in love with grief itself.
As You tell soul that true love is full of pain and trials.
Soul submits to both the pain and bliss of the Beloved Soul craves nearness.
You guide it to lower its existence even more Soul disappears with time into nothingness Until there’s just YOU.
The nothingness asks You, where have You been all along my Beloved?
You answer: I was always here, closer to you than your jugular vein, but your love for anyone or anything other than Me kept you away from Me.
Like moths who destroy themselves in the love of fire And like a flood destroying everything in its path The sweet waters now flow endlessly…
September 2018 Writing Contest